Mathematics
At the Academy of Reality, Sid Sidney wonders what kind of financial asylum the founders think they were founding. Casino or insurance business? It doesn’t matter. Both enterprises need large parking lots with room for expansion. The Academy planners wait for neighbors on adjacent side streets to list their houses for sale. Academy real estate people buy the houses, one at a time, and level it, making it ready for more parking space in the future.
Too many cars fill acres of space. Who knows how many? What about the math question in the Tom Robbins novel, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues? “If a chicken and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long does it take for a grasshopper to stamp all the peas out of a pod? The only math formula that I remember won’t help calculate the parking lot area. My guestimate goes something like, 5000 employees work here. 210 cars occupy an acre. 5000 divided by 210 cars equals 23 or 24 acres, depending on the number of workers who carpooled. Senior officers, VPs, and managers’ cars occupy the spaces closest to the buildings. If you’re late allow an extra five or ten minutes of walking time.
Play the Odds
Insurance company or casino? A quick impression, both businesses work pretty much the same way. Each plays the odds: Insurance people bet on probable life spans. Casinos create better odds of winning for players who believe that life is too short, but long enough for a possible win. An insurance payout lowers risk and minimizes actual loss. Scratch tickets or casino slots don’t necessarily cost much to play but expose us to small but near-certain losses.
History or legend, an ancient Roman writer, Tacitus, claimed that Germanic tribes loved gambling; a man could gamble himself into slavery, trying to win back a lost fortune.
Metric Wonderland
Financial Asylum or casino? Either way, workers dwell in a metric wonderland of laptop microswitches counting keyboard jockey keystrokes, Backspace and delete keys are counterproductive in the way they undo work already done. One hundred and two keys add to keyboard jockey numbers, and one subtracts. According to the boss, it’s not a plan; it’s a fair metric that tracks reality. Workers just need to double-check their backspace and delete keys, once in a while. After all, a sticky key decreases their numbers.
“Asylum or casino?” It doesn’t matter. Either way, it’s still a parking lot.
